Couples are constantly inventing so many new and tricky ways to self destruct. It really blows my mind. These bumps on the romantic road range from minor tiffs to major meltdowns. When our friends stand around in objective judgment of our relationship hardship, it’s often too easy for them to tell us to throw in the towel. Or conversely, we might get advice to stick it out; when we know it’s not going to work.
Problems related to love and your lover is more difficult to sort out because they involve emotions. Trying to figure out what can be fixed and whether or not your lover should be nixed?? Keep reading for a quick guide to three of the most common couples’ problems, and what you can do about them.
Infidelity
This one depends on you. Some people are great at that whole free-love-we’re-all-human-animals-with-instincts-so-I-understand thing. I’m kind of one of those people. I really do get that we’re all running around, smelling each other, and fighting an urge to spread our seed and whatnot. But I also know that we were given the good sense and free will to choose how we act and react in a situation. But hell, everyone’s human. So what’s the answer? Is cheating forgivable or not?
Provided that the offender comes clean it’s probably not even the infidelity itself that’s going to scrap your relationship anyway; it’s the lying that goes with it. Once your partner starts lying and becoming comfortable with it, it’s almost impossible to trust them about anything. Once trust is gone from your relationship, you might as well be gone too.
One of you is moving
Do you stay together or break up? Does one of you move with the other? Again, it depends on a few factors. When something like a job or school threatens to move your loved one far away, it’s a good time to take inventory of your relationship. If you honestly see yourself staying with this person in a long-term way, then you might want to explore your options. There are a few things I can say for certain about long distance relationships, however:
Know in advance that a long distance relationship may work in the short term, but it won’t last. There needs to be a light at the end of the tunnel; an expiration date that you can work towards. If there isn’t then at some point things will just become too hard.
Having to move away for work is one thing but simply choosing to move somewhere else, mid-relationship, even knowing the other person can’t go, says a lot about the level of commitment coming from that half of the couple. Think long and hard before making major adjustments to your life for that person, as they certainly aren’t doing the same for you.
Your biological clocks are out of line
If the two of you are so wickedly in love that you’re having serious conversations about the whens and hows of getting married, having babies, or executing any other major life shift, chances are the relationship is solid enough to cut each other a break if you’re not on the same page. If you both generally want the same thing but are slightly off on the timing (one of you is ready right now, the other can’t see having kids in the next couple of years, for example), wait it out a bit. You might just catch back up with each other. This isn’t something worth throwing away a good love for.
A few exceptions: if during the course of the relationship, one of you has decided that one of the big life goals is no longer a big life goal of theirs at all anymore, you might be at an impasse. The same is true if one of you (somewhat selfish to me, but it happens) decides that other issues and feelings be damned, they have to have a baby right now. Yeah, that probably won’t work either. Don’t give in to big changes in your own life that you aren’t ready for, just to save a relationship. If your partner isn’t willing to be considerate of your wants and needs, they aren’t a person you should be building your life with anyway.
This post was developed by the writers of the Datepad.com free internet dating company where you can find thousands of helpful dating posts.
If you would like to make a comment, please fill out the form below.
