We all know a woman (or two or three) who does absolutely everything for her guy. Some days you can’t tell is she’s his girlfriend or his personal assistant. Besides keeping his social calendar, she does his laundry, cooks his meals, plans his business trips, packs his suitcase and picks out wedding presents for his friends and family.
Sure, playing to each other’s strengths and weaknesses to compensate for each other’s lack thereof is simply a smart couple thing to do. My boyfriend just happens to be horrible at remembering birthdays whereas I keep a calendar that the President would envy. That doesn’t make me his doormat, it makes us efficient.
So, all of this got me thinking about the line between being a good, supportive, awesome ladyfriend and being, essentially, someone’s doormat. Or, on the other hand, making him your doormat. And thus, a brief list of a few areas where you should be careful to toe the line:
Do: Stand by your man Don’t: Take over his battles
Here’s the scenario; you’re at one of his family functions. His mom, who loathes his career, starts on her usual rant about how it’s a total waste of time and will ultimately lead to failure and misery. This is one time that you need to have your dude’s back, even if you secretly agree with her.
I know you want his family and his mother in particular, to like you. But you need to remember that you’re on his team. That’s why you’re there. If he wants your opinion on the matter you can tell him later, in private. In the face of opposition however, solidarity is called for.
Having said that, don’t fight his battles for him. Resist the urge to jump in there like you’re his representative or something. While you might think you’re doing him a favor, in reality you’re going from supportive to emasculating.
Do: Give him trust Don’t: Be a fool
I’ve always felt that it’s much easier to be the jealous type than the trusting type. The jealous type gets to indult in a daily dose of insecurity. While it may be easier, the cost is high. Spending your days trying to catch your man doing goodness knows what with goodness know who is a guaranteed to drive you nuts. Plus it’ll send your relationship into a tailspin from which it won’t recover.
Unless the guy is a complete jerk, you’re going to be wrong about your suspicions, pretty much always. And all that time you were sneaking, snooping, gossiping and worrying, what you weren’t doing was enjoying and furthering your relationship.
The better choice? Focus on making your time together so stimulating and amazing that he won’t want to stray. And when he’s not around, choose to let him be innocent until proven guilty. You’re a smart cookie; if you stay relaxed and positive, you’ll be able to see real signs that he’s lying from a million miles away. That’s when to break out with detective hat. Until then, being trusting might take a bit of bravery and some faith, but it’s really the only way to be fair to both of you.
This post was developed by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find hundreds more helpful dating posts.
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