Marrying An Older Man

It’s an unfortunate fact of life that love is not always seen as the primary motive behind the marriage of an older man and a younger woman. Even as gay marriage has become more acceptable than in the past, the marriage of a younger woman to an older man is still viewed by some as a dash for the cash.

There’s no doubt that marriage, any marriage, is hard work. And all marriages will face issues that can make or break the relationship. Marriage to a man who is old enough to be your father will present special challenges that you may not have considered.

Public perception. True it or not, if you’re the female half of a May-December marriage there are people who are going to call you a gold digger to your face. And they’re going to call your husband a cradle robber. Whoever said public perception was fair? And when you go out in public as a couple, be prepared for people to mistake you for father and daughter. (thick skin)

And baby makes three. Marriage to an older man likely means stepchildren. Ask yourself how comfortable you would be with a stepdaughter who may be older than you are. As for children of your own, does your partner feel the same way? Even in same age relationships, wanting or not wanting children can be a relationship killer.

Well being. Let’s say that you’re 25 years younger than your partner. Does he take care of himself? Let’s face it, a man who eats properly and exercises regularly is going to be around a lot longer than a guy who thinks a buying case of beer, a bag of Doritos and a deciding what to watch on television tonight is exercise enough!

Fun stuff. Most couples have activities in common; things they like to do that, once they meet, they can do together. Couples in a May-December relationship will have to be mindful of the fact that the older partner may not be able to physically handle activities more suited to younger participants. And what about your social life? Is he going to bored stiff hanging out with people young enough to be his children?

Working versus Not Working. He’s 57 and if he hasn’t retired yet, he soon will, while you’re at the top of your game and have no plans or desire to give up working just yet. So how is he going to spend his time while you’re out earning a living? Will he resent the fact that you’re not home during the day or that you have to go out of town on business?

Any good relationship that goes the distance is made up of a number of factors; love and constant communication are just two. Before you tie the know, talk to your partner, in detail, about your hopes and dreams for the two of you. Don’t be afraid to get specific. Better you iron out your differences now than in divorce court.