Honest imperfection is infinitely preferable to falsified flawlessness, right? Right. So, in the spirit of open-mindedness and not writing off perfectly good dates because they aren’t perfect, here is a list of common first impression mistakes and why you shouldn’t let them bother you:
Tardiness
Granted, chronic lateness is highly annoying. If you’re a punctual person it’s definitely grounds for dumping someone, but only after awhile. Just because someone is 20 minutes late for your first date is no reason to immediately tarnish them with the tardiness brush. It could just be a onetime thing. Before you go in for the dump, make sure it truly is a habit and not a one of.
Too chatty or too quiet
Hello?! Don’t you know that some people revert back to having the conversational skills of a 6-year-old when they’re in the presence of someone who makes them nervous? I’m not promising they will stop being like this, but if someone is super compromising the conversation, going on and on and on about his grandmother’s arthritis, or just not saying anything much at all, take it as a compliment.
Having a nervous first date is par for the course. It can only be hoped that sitting through all that conversational awkwardness wasn’t too awful! Let’s hope his or her charm and attraction managed to peep through enough to merit a second date. It takes some people more than one date to get warmed up, so go ahead and give it another try.
Getting your name wrong
Some people really take this personally and get totally offended when their first date calls them by another name or forgets their name entirely. I just don’t get that. It’s not meant as an insult for crying out loud, it’s just an honest gaffe.
It’s a first date and you don’t know each other yet. And that’s the point, they don’t know you. Maybe your hairstyle reminded you of Sally so they called you Sally by mistake. Their friends’ names are already programmed into their brains; yours isn’t. At least not yet. Calling you by another name when you’ve been dating for six months and are sharing romantic times? That’s something else altogether. But a slip up on the first date is both understandable and forgivable.
Drinking too much
Sigh. I’ve been this girl and let me tell you, it’s not worth holding against someone, this whole accidentally-getting-hammered-on-the-first-date thing. I am intelligent and charming and witty and, darn it, I’m not an alcoholic! (Can you tell the guy never called again and I’m a little bitter?) It’s the whole nervous thing again.
All of my common first date missteps were the result of my nerves, and I just needed a drink to take the edge of. Okay, maybe 5. Let it go already. Here’s the thing; if your date gets regularly embarrassingly drunk in public it won’t take you long to figure that out. Don’t jump to conclusions on the first date.
This post was developed by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find hundreds of professional dating posts.
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