We’re always told that trust is essential to a relationship so when you suspect that your partner is lying to you, it’s horribly frustrating. But there’s one thing worse and that’s when you know he or she is lying, but won’t own up.
I sincerely hope that everyone coupled person reading this hasn’t had to deal with this situation. I hope that you have evolved to the point where petty lies are a thing of the past and that you’re living happily ever after in the bright sunshine of love and honesty.
But for those of us still living in the real world, where seemingly perfect and wonderful mates gets wasted and make out with strangers at bars and then lie about it, we might need a little help when trying to figure out if our partner is really spinning tall talesor if we’re just being paranoid. Well, here’s your quick-and-easy cheat sheet:
1. He/She repeats what you said
When your partner simply repeats your words back to you, it’s a tell tale sign that he or she is not being completely honest with you. This stall technique is a classic and give him or her more time to make up an answer they think you will believe. You probably remember doing the same thing in school when the teacher asked you a question that you didn’t know the answer to. Didn’t work then either, did it?
2. It’s all in the eyes
Eyes are the biggest giveaways when it comes to carrying off a lie. Being untruthful makes you anxious and avoidant, meaning you’re always less likely to look the person you’re talking to in the eyes when you’re trying to feed them a fallacy. Wise folks should also know that if your lover is all shifty-eyed and you’re pretty sure they’re full of it, check out their pupils: they’re more likely to be dilated if they are spinning lies.
3. Discrepancies
Here’s a stupid scenario that is repeated time and time again. Your partner, the love of your life, went out for a night on the town with the boys (or girls as the case may be). And you have solid proof that he or she was misbehaving. When asked, your idiot partner, who obviously thinks you’re brain dead, keeps changing his story every time it’s told. Now here’s the thing. Even if we’re stressed we’re not going to forget the truth
In fact, if someone is being honest, they are much more likely to really hammer in the same facts, over and over, in an attempt to make you understand. If his/her account of what did or didn’t happen is turning into a shape-shifting story, it could very well be made up.
4. He/She is too defensive
Now, keep in mind how you are approaching your sweetie in this situation; if you’re in attack mode, even the most kind and honest of the bunch are going to get defensive, which can make anyone look guilty. But if your partner’s level of defensiveness is way out of proportion to the tone of your conversation, that might be their pre-existing lie guilt bubbling up to the surface. Even if you don’t know they’re lying yet, if they suspect you know of their dishonesty, they’re going to throw up their walls. Related sign: they use overly convincing language.
This post was developed by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read hundreds of professional dating posts.
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