Labels and dating, they go hand in hand. People always put their own prejudices out there, putting a label on you for just being you. If you want to be cautious when dating, you are called frigid. If you want to be more outgoing, then you are a player. It really is quite ridiculous.
There are so many labels out there that sometimes I am amazed anyone still wants to date. Also, as these labels can be hurtful, they can change the way you make your decisions when dating, putting you in an uncomfortable or even dangerous situation.
In this article I want to discuss the term that is being bandied around a fair bit at the moment - the player. I want to focus on the player particularly because of a comment I heard recently. This comment was “Yes, everyone calls him a player, but I don’t understand it. When you ask them, no-one has seen him “playing”.”
Why is it that a man faces negativity when he makes an effort to actively meet, date and better understand women.
There are different rules for men and women in this regard. It is very acceptable for women to gather and discuss their relationships, learning from each other and offering advice. There are groups of men who do the same, but its very rare and always deliberate. Its not a natural state of affairs for men to gather and communicate like this.
What this means is that women are afforded the luxury of learning about men and dating, through the sharing of experience. Comparatively, men are not. Men by and large must learn as individuals, from their own mistakes.
I believe there are two factors which contribute to this. Firstly, men are pressured by women along the lines of “a gentleman never kisses and tells”. This expectation exists and is held dear by all the women who are quite happy to meet their friends and discuss even the most intimate details of all their experiences. There really is a lack of balance here. Secondly, men are often very competitive among themselves, particularly when it comes to women. This causes meaningless banter and bravado when they’d be better served with honest communication and the exchanging of ideas.
This causes a big issue in our society today. If you, as a man, actively pursue learning and self improvement in the romantic part of your life, you will create a more harmonious and enjoyable experience for yourself AND the women you are dating. This is a good thing. If being called a player is a barrier to this (ie. it makes you feel uncomfortable about sharing your experiences with other me and/or looking for advice), it becomes a inhibitor to your happiness and the happiness of the women you date. That cannot be good!
So, if you are a single man, you probably know already what I mean. If you are interested in self improvement, particularly when it comes to meeting and dating, you are not a player so don’t be afraid. Just find some other men who are already doing this and all will be fine. There are communities of men who are doing this already and have joined together specifically to improve themselves in this manner. The key to this though is to always do it in a manner that is compassionate to the women you are dating.
Dating Down Under - Important dating advice for men and information regarding Australian Dating Sites
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