When you are least expecting them a problem can just creep up into your marriage, and one of the biggest problems that marriages face is jealously. Many, however, only see jealously as a wife being jealous of a women the husband has been spending time with or vice versa, but one of the most common forms of jealously in marriages is the husbands jealously towards his own children.
Sure this may sound like a bizarre thing and something that is rare, but many boys who were spoiled and favored in their household of origin actually experience jealousy of their children. After all, when your wife is just your wife, her focus and attention are solely on her man. She caters to his whims, rubs his back after a long day, and cooks the things that he likes. He is her focus.
Then they decide to add children into their lives. Children! These little people who’s vocabulary consists of “I need”, “I want”, and “Mine” for the most part. They take all of the wife’s energy, time and attention. By the end of the day the husband comes home to a tired, frustrated wife, screaming kids, and difficult conversation. This is a far cry from the comfort, support and warm quiet meals he was used to.
The husband begins to tantrum like a child, trying to express to his wife how he feels, to no avail. The worse his behavior gets, the worse the wife’s behavior gets. The wife begins to ask herself, what more does he want. She does everything she can to take care of the children, the house, the household chores and bills. She feels under appreciated and yet he keeps asking her for more! After arguing these issues numerous times the marriage usually turns into either a WWIII type scenario or complacency. No matter which path it takes it is complete suffering for all parties involved.
So then you ask, whose problem is it to fix? The fact of the matter is, the problem belongs to both husband and wife. The wife needs to create a special place for her man and the husband needs to understand and be less demanding. The husband must also realize that the children can not always help themselves therefore they need to come first some of the time. It is a delicate balance and adding children to a marriage is usually difficult for any couple. To help it go smoother you can plan and discuss these issues and the steps you will take to correct them. Good communication is the key to any marriage before you have children, while you have children and even after your children have grown and moved out of your home.
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