The worst part of the end of a relationship can be the lack of one. The open-endedness and plaguing questions of why and how it all went downhill can keep you up at night. We’ve all been there, waiting for answers that never came and wasting precious time trying to get that closure from an ex who just wasn’t willing to give it.
So, off you go to the nearest book store to find guidance on how to deal with unthought-of breakup. Truth is, scouring all these self-help books won’t give you answers that you really need. Usually, the best answers come from those who have experienced the pain of a break up. Be it abrupt break up or a result if a long agony, here are some tips I’ve got from experiences on how to move on after a break up. Moving on not to a new you, but for a better you.
Play it cool. After your break up, friends will flock into your house to be with you, listen to your side and of course get to know what went wrong. This is more likely to happen a few months after a break up. At these times, talking trash about your ex will do no good but harm both to you and your ex. It is important to let go all the negative emotions inside you about the break up, but take some responsibility. It still is best to clear your name of the drama.
Don’t play the victim. Women always tend to be the helpless and wounded in movies, and it’s seemingly no different when it comes to relationships. According to the American Psychological Association, women are twice as likely to develop depression than men. Don’t get me wrong, the sympathy is nice when we feel lost and lonely, but it only makes us that much more vulnerable. Be strong and positive. Easier said than done of course, but the stronger-willed we are, the less likely we are to make bad decisions and be taken advantage of by the hard-to-resist rebound.
Work on you. In the aftermath of a breakup, we often see ourselves wallowing in our sorrows. Wallowing is okay, in fact needed, but only for a certain period of time. Life has so much to offer, you don’t want to miss it, don’t you?
Refocus your life. Like any other problems in life… after all the wallowing, you need to refocus your life. Take a deep breath and set your priorities… your family, friends, career and yourself. If you feel you need some counseling, perhaps attend a retreat, do so. It will give you a lot of time to think things over, until you can finally sleep soundly.
Break ups are optional. There are many wonderful relationships out there, and if you would ask them if they have went rough roads at one point or another… majority would say yes. If you really think that your relationship deserves a second chance, there are ways. It’s really all up to you to make it happen.
In moving on after a break up, loss of hope happens… it’s normal and it will pass. The key to it so stop asking how, what if and why did that happen. You were hurt, but please do yourself a favor to recover from it. How much did you spend time analyzing what happened? How much time do you think it will take to find a new guy and land in a better relationship? Please do the math.
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