Basically everyone knows that the hardest date you could ever have after a breakup is the very first one. You’re feeling vulnerable, your heart’s been cut into teeny tiny pieces, and your self confidence is at its all time low. Of course, there’s no need to hurry things up. You can take your time while you’re still mending. However, nobody said mending a broken heart should only be done alone. You can always go out and meet new people while you’re trying to put yourself back together.
Asking somebody out can get a bit scary though. You might get too spooked thinking she might say no. Well, she might. But she could also very well say yes. Just having the guts to get up, come over, and ask somebody out is already a huge boost to your ego. You might not have that point of view yet, but in time you’ll understand what such a gesture can do for your self-esteem.
Remember, a first date is not an audition for your next serious relationship. A first date is just a chance for you to meet somebody you might want to hang out with. Don’t think too much about where the relationship will lead. Keep everything as low-pressure as possible. If you’re expecting too much from something that’s supposed to be light and cool, you’re just setting yourself up for disappointment.
Besides, if you’re putting too much pressure on both you and the date, you might get too worked up and not show up to the date at all. You’ll drive around her block again and again summoning up the courage to pull over and knock on her door but can’t because you’ll be too wound up. So, how can you make your first date as pleasant for you both without killing yourself with too much pressure?
That’s a good question.
The long and short answer is this: make it fun. The more fun you have on your date the more likely you are to want to do it again. If you spend the entire night worried about making the right moves, saying the right things, or eating with the right fork it will just drive you absolutely insane. Don’t do this to yourself and don’t do it to the pretty girl you’re taking out on the town.
Of course, your idea of fun might not be her idea of fun. The trick is to find something that always works. Something safe. Something almost everybody finds fun. Don’t go out on your first date and – because you’re a hardcore daredevil – take her out drag racing or cliff diving. Make it as much fun for her as for you.
If you’re both having fun it’s unlikely that either of you will want to put an end to the fun all too soon. On the other hand if she’s miserable, she’s going to want to put an end to your fun real soon and have you drive her home. The biggest secret to success though about making your first date after a breakup a rip roaring success is to make that date one that is fun for everyone.
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