The petty fights have escalated. The long, drawn out silences are nearly deafening now. You can be in the same bed for an entire night and never once touch each other. There is trouble in your relationship and you both know it. But how can you save it? What can you try before it is simply too late?
That your willing to do what ever it takes to save you marriage is a very good sign. Everything worth doing takes work but there are ways to save your relationship.
1. It’s time to think about your past. Why did you get together in the first place? Did she have the best sense of humor? Did he looking hot in his football uniform? Try to be as specific as possible about why you were first attracted to each other. Find something that will allow you to feel reconnected to each other.
If her sense of humor was what attracted you then go to a comedy show. Find his old football jersey and have him wear it. Even if you have to put on a pretense that you are the same people that you once were for a few minutes, try to feel the love you had in the beginning. The love still exists in you it has just been buried under the stress of everyday life. Let them float back to the surface.
2. Touch each other just to touch. Often when we are mad, have hurt feelings or feel sad, we close into ourselves. We no longer reach out to the people we love and that will make them have hurt feelings, anger and sadness. Reach out and touch your wife’s hair. Rest your hand on your husbands arm. Lightly touch each other as you are walking past. It doesn’t matter what you do as long as you are touching.
3. Actually kiss each other. Kissing and touching are not the same thing. It could be view as an unintentional gesture if you are just brushing up against on another but there will be no mistaking the intention of a kiss. Surround your husbands face with your hands and lightly kiss him. You’d be surprised how fast anger melts away when there is passion involved.
4. Try a change of scenery. Staring at the same four walls when you are angry with someone can make the most beautifully decorated room feel like a jail cell. Go away for the weekend, even if it is only to a local hotel. The change may allow you to relax enough to discuss what is wrong, or maybe it will suddenly seem so insignificant that you forget it completely.
5. Act like you don’t know each other very well. We tend to treat complete strangers with more respect and dignity then we do the people we love. In public our manners are excellent but as soon as we get home they stop. Not really fair, is it? Give being polite at home a try and see if things don’t change for the better. a simple please and thank you will go a long ways. Say thank you for tasks done, no matter how insignificant they are. Give and receive compliments graciously. act like you really do care about and like this person.
It can be hard to save your marriage but well worth it. Just remember that every little change you make will put you one step closer to having the marriage that you lost.
If you would like to make a comment, please fill out the form below.
