Your fighting constantly now. The silences seem to get longer and quieter so much that it is almost deafening. You never touch one another even when you sleep in the same bed every night. Your relationship has taken a turn for the worst and you both know it. Now is the time to figure out how to save your marriage before it turns into a divorce.
Just the fact that your willing to try to save your marriage is a great sign. It will take some work but there are ways to save your relationship.
1. Spend time remembering what drew you together in the first place. Did you fall in love with her quirky sense of humor? Did he drive you wild in his football jersey? What exactly attracted you to one another? Find something from your mutual past and use it to reconnect with your partner.
Take her to a comedy and club and watch her let loose. Dig out his old jersey and ask him to wear it. Even if you have to pretend to be these people for a minute or two, go back in time to when your love was new. The feelings are still there, they have just been buried under the stress of life. Let them back out.
2. Touch each other for no reason other then to touch. Most times when we get mad, hurt or sad, we build a barrier around ourselves instead of reaching out to the people that we love. This leaves them feeling mad, hurt or sad. This can be a never ending cycle. reach over and caress your wife’s hair. Rub your husbands arm. Briefly touch each other as you are passing each other throughout the house. It doesn’t matter how you are touching each other, what’s important is that you are.
3. Kissing is different from touching. With touching, it can be misconstrued as accidental. There is no way to unintentionally kiss somebody. Women: take your husband’s face in your hands, stare him right in the eyes and then kiss him, softly and slowly. You would be surprised how fast passion can melt away anger.
4. Try a change of scenery. Staring at the same four walls when you are angry with someone can make the most beautifully decorated room feel like a jail cell. Go away for the weekend, even if it is only to a local hotel. The change may allow you to relax enough to discuss what is wrong, or maybe it will suddenly seem so insignificant that you forget it completely.
5. Act like you are strangers. Have you ever noticed that we treat perfect strangers with more dignity and respect than we do our loved ones? Our manners in general public can be exquisite while at home we turn into Penny and Paulie Pig, grunting and squealing at our spouses. Doesn’t sound fair, does it? Try to be more polite while at home and see if that changes things. Ask sweetly for something and include a “please.” Say thank you for tasks completed, no matter how small. Give and receive compliments graciously. Act like you really do like this person.
Every little thing you do to save your marriage will take you one step closer to having the relationship you once had.
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