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Your First Message to Internet Date

By Desmond Ray | Jun 26, 2009

Writing first message which will win attention of your potential date is not an easy task. Here are some hints.

Choice of a candidate Be very selective, only those people whose profiles attracted your attention are worth any further effort. Keep in mind, you are looking for a multi-thousand pool of potential dates, with hundreds of newcomers every day, so if you will fail to reach one person, you will succeed with another. Moreover, even if you are getting into a promising development with one candidate, keep seeking and do exchange with others. When you will get into some real relationship, it will be better for you if you will have your options.

Some challenge In our first message we want to get all attention from the candidate of our choice and, quite often the effect is opposite! How to make our first message attractive and not boastful (nor boring), so we will hear back?

If your message is not answered, never allow yourself any hard feelings, the network is too big for getting distracted by such things. For the same time, always work on improvement of your writing. Develop your own, unique style, be creative and sincere, avoid anything which may sound too trivial and hence boring. Your message will be much more efficient if it will be written in the form of conversation.

Nothing generic! Your first message must address each candidate individually: there must be nothing generic there. It is easy to tell generic stuff: it talks about the author, not the one who receives the message. So, for the sake of success, the core of your first message must be built on the key features of your addressee profile. The aim of the first message is to provoke a dialogue based on some mutual interests. This can be done only by asking your candidate some specific, only his (or her) profile-related questions. Of course, while asking those questions dont miss to tell a bit about yourself.

Your toneYou are welcome to tease your addressee in the first message, but do it gently. Avoid writing anything about sex and dont claim yourself being a perfect match to him or her. This is your very first message, so, as long as you knowledge of this person is limited to his (her) personal profile, you better keep a relaxed tone, almost as if this is an introduction to a new business partner.

Final word If your letter is not good enough, you may never hear from him or her back. Try again and always remember, that you probably not the only one who liked this person and your letter may be just one out of many. You have to make it outstanding from this crowd. Give this person a reason to reply. Ask questions, offer your answers, and put some intrigue into it. This is your real chance to get close to this person. And, if you started the dialogue, dont get dragged into a virtual romance, try to move to the next level, seek live date, be pro-active!

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