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Your Ex Boyfriend Isn’t Worth Your Soul

By John Belair | Dec 20, 2009

If you’re of a particular age, Alanis Morisette wrote the definitive album about being burned in a relationship a decade ago with Jagged Little Pill. Maybe it’s playing on your CD player right now, as you read this, or you’ve got the MP3 playing on infinite loop as you mull over how to get your boyfriend backor maybe you’re sitting there wondering how to get your ex boyfriend back (or get back at him)

OK – we’ve set the scene. Now it’s time to shatter expectations. Going through a breakup is very much like grieving – there are notable stages, like denial, and anger and all that jazz. And you’re probably wondering what went wrong, or you’re mulling it over, and playing things over and over again in your head.

So – stop. Give him some space. Trying to make him sorry for you won’t make your relationship come back. So stop calling him, stop text messaging him. Stop acting like the lead in an Adam Sandler movie – seriously. They aren’t going to help.

If you want to have a fate of something better than some ex he thinks about while shaking his head, thinking “What the hell did I see in her?”, read on. Otherwise, just do what you’re doing, and become one of those girls who never goes out anymore, got it?

Now, there’s a time for introspection. But this isn’t it – you want your ex to wonder how you’re doing because he isn’t hearing from you. You want him to check in on you of his own volition – and when he does, you want to be fun and energetic, so that he’s reminded of what he’s missing out on.

Your strategy should be based on human nature. If you’re smothering him, he’ll run away. If you’re interesting, he’ll come back. So make yourself interesting and get on with your life.

The main thing you can do to get your ex boyfriend back is to be yourself. If you’re obsessing over it, you’re doing it wrong, and you’re only making matters worse. Establish your space, your boundaries and your own worth as a person rather than as half of a couple.

The other major benefit of repairing your relationship by making your own life your own focus is that it stabilizes you if he doesn’t come back. Yeah, we’ve all known people who seem to have no lives – maybe they go home and pet the cat and watch soap operas or something; some are shell shocked from having had a relationship explode on them. Some just decide the whole game isn’t worth it – and these are both realistic appraisalsbut your best odds of getting your ex back have nothing to do with him, and everything to do with you and your self esteem and valuation.

In order to get your ex back, you need to follow an action plan set to implement. Follow this link for a proven way to win back your ex and rekindle your relationship!

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