While many extramarital affairs end up in court houses and eventually in divorce, there are couples who still prefer to work things out, together. Forgiving your spouse is not easy; most of the time, it takes time and too much emotional stress to even get to the point of acceptance, but not necessary forgiveness. Surviving an affair may even result to nothing. But, those who survived the lengthy and painful process of surviving an affair provide good lessons to those who are just beginning to heal the wounds.
1. Promise not to have an affair. Yes, this is the first step you have to take. Take note that your partner is still in doubt so you want to start the rebuilding process, everything must be stopped from meeting, sex, dinner, phone calls, emails, to texting. End the affair, period.
2. Do not rush to forgiveness. Forgiveness and healing the wounds caused by an infidel partner is not easy to forget. Your partner is still in heavy pain, expect that it will take time before he or she can forgive.
3. Take the blame. Pressing all the blame to your spouse will not do anything good. If your partner had an affair but you want to forget what happened, put an end to pointing fingers. If you are the guilty party, accept the responsibility and constantly reassure your partner that you will not commit the same mistake again.
4. Tell your partner what he needs to know. The healing process is much easier when the adulterous partner spouse answers all the questions requested by his or her betrayed partner.
If you have been secretive all your life, now is the time to end it. Your partner will better forgive you if you don’t hide anything to him or her anymore.
5. Submit yourself to your spouse, completely. Whether you are the betrayed partner, you have a better chance of rebuilding your marriage when you submit yourself completely and promise not to have an affair again. When healing, you must always be ready to talk or [listen hear your partner out] for as long as it takes.
6. Don’t forgive your partner right away. Saving your marriage involves forgiving your adulterous partner, but forgiveness must still be earned. Take the necessary pain first, then begin rebuilding the damaged relationship. Forgive after you have overcome the pain.
7. Seek help. Get reconnected with your relatives and close friends to help you get through the process and make you feel less isolated.
8. Spend time to be together without thinking or talking about the affair. Spend time with your friends and partner and do activities you both once enjoyed.
9. Expect pain.
Surviving an affair is not very easy; it often invovles rage, pain and tears.Be aware to face them all.
I have been writing articles about marriage and relationship. I have personally been through a bad experience but have managed to survive an affair.
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