Are you torn? Do you want to win back your ex, or is it time you begin a new chapter in your life? Wouldn’t it be great if really were that easy? But giving up someone who has occupied a huge space in your heart and life isn’t has simple as making a logical decision. If it were, there would be no Dr. Phil in the world. But, with a little consideration, you make the decision easier for yourself, and if you’re thinking of opening a new chapter in your life, I ask you follow these five easy steps:
*Decision Time: Make One and Stand Tall in the Saddle with it
No pussy-footing around. Do not linger with sentimentality. This can be a killer. Every time some sweet memory comes filtering down, and you begin to think it might be time to win back your ex, remind yourself why you are where you are. Get rid of the music that reminds you of them. Return all their personal items to them. When a day of the year comes that is a reminder of your time together, get out with other friends and forge new memories. Heck. You might even meet someone else.
*Don’t bottle up your emotions
It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. Things are made much worse when you don’t allow them to surface. And, here’s a news flash: it’s okay to be in some pain. Really. It is. Don’t attempt to avoid it, don’t rationalize it. Be in it and remind yourself, “I’m going through a difficult time, but I’m going to be alright.” Try it. This works better than you can imagine.
*Execute a symbolic act
This can be anything. Set fire to the old love letters. Tear up the 8 x 10 of ‘ol’ what’s their name’ that sits near your fireplace. Trash the stuffed dog you both bought at the Fair. Just perform some act and say, “This is symbolic of our ending.” It’ll go a long way to helping finalize your decision. Don’t get lost in fits of rage here. This is a good thing, remember? You’ve made a decision that’s in the best interest of a happy future for yourself. Don’t lose sight of that fact.
*Seek Out Old Friends
This is the corniest advice ever, but it works. Your love interests come and go, but your friends are there forever, and they often know what’s best for you before you do. Seek them out. Spend time with them. Maybe your old relationship took away from some of the time you could’ve spent with them. Be up front. Let them know how important they are in your life and what they mean to you. Just because you’re ending one avenue in your life doesn’t mean the bus stops. It keeps moving, and you are the driver.
*Don’t forget about Number One
Drinking Long Island Iced Teas and watching “They Way We Were” a thousand times isn’t going to cut it. Neither is stuffing yourself with chocolate and potatoes. Be well. Think well of yourself. Treat your body with respect. Get out and walk regularly or take up jogging or aerobics. You stand a much better chance of engaging a new interest in your life if you’re engaged, as simple as it sounds.
In sum: do you really want to win back your ex, or has the ship really sailed? Only you know the answer to that, and you know it better than anyone can ever tell you. There isn’t a thing being thrown at you now that you can’t handle. You’re adult, fully capable of making adult decisions. The past is prologue. What you make of your life, right now, is truly up to you.
Want to learn more about Surviving Infidelity, then visit Stan J. Van Sant’s site and get his free 35 page ebook “The 7 Telltale Signs of a Truly Reformed Cheater” – just go to Win Back Your Ex
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