Successful relationships all have certain things in common while unsuccessful relationships encompass all forms of misfortune and disaster. An unsuccessful relationship can be anything from a stale, old marriage were communication and romance have failed to a situation where serious problems like dating violence or drug abuse threaten the lives of one or both partners. A lot of relationship success, therefore, is the absence of serious personal problems. To be in a successful relationship, you need to be stable, happy, and self-actualized. You need to have the power within yourself to be happy before you can make someone else happy.
Successful relationships, however, require a whole lot more than that. There are plenty of people out there who are pretty happy on their own but aren’t able to communicate well enough to be in a successful relationship. I know all that from experience. A few years ago, I was dating a woman I thought was the woman of my dreams. She was beautiful, intelligent, driven, and extremely successful. I was also very together and successful, and I didn’t see any reason why it shouldn’t work between us. We both had prestigious jobs where we could make good money, and we were both calm, rational people.
Nonetheless, the relationship failed and failed miserably. We did not have what most successful relationships need: communication and the ability to compromise. Both of us were such type a personalities that we were unable to see where the other was coming from. Each of us always assumed that he was right and that the other one was wrong. We could discuss things for hours, but would still never come to an agreement.
We parted amicably, and we and stayed in touch for a couple of months, but I knew that I needed some serious help. I don’t know what she did after our dating experience, but I went in for therapy. I realized that there was one area where I really needed to grow if I was going to ever have successful relationships. Before I tried any more online dating sites or even went to a singles bar looking to make a connection, I knew that I would have to do something about my stubborn streak and learn how to listen.
Changing your whole attitude and learning a skill is Every bit as hard as it sounds. It took me months to make a breakthrough, and at times I was on the verge of giving up. In some ways I found the psychiatrist to be every bit as stubborn as I was, but I persevered and really made a breakthrough. Since then, I have had nothing but successful relationships. When I go out with a girl, I can say what I mean and hear what she means
If you would like to make a comment, please fill out the form below.
