Why are you here?
How many times have you heard Men say something like this as they face their pre-wedding test ?
According to fiances’ , weddings are thrilling. According to Men , weddings may be boring, stressful, or dreadful; but are seldom described as thrilling. Do ladies and Grooms see something different in this event?
Think about all the traditional events that Grooms may face as they plan for their weddings. It is traditional for the Bridegrooms to find their prospective brides ; ask for a date; pay all the bills as they court; meet the ladies ‘ parents and friends; make a good impression on everyone; develop vibrant relationships with the ladies ; ask the ladies to agree to get married; ask the fathers of the fiances’ for the hands of the fiances’ ; announce engagement; attend pre-wedding showers; attend pre-wedding parties; attending wedding counseling; participating in wedding rehearsals; dressing up in formal penguin suits; get through the wedding ceremony; survive the wedding rehearsal; doing everything right without getting upset; even paying for the honeymoon.
When you think about it, why do Bridegrooms experience so much stress over the long list of social encounters? If you have missed it, just watch Grooms at pre-wedding showers, parties, rehearsals, etc.
As a minister, I make it a practice of meeting with ladies and Grooms a month or so before the wedding. In a majority of the situations, the fiances’ are all excited and full of ideas. The ladies come with questions and notebooks ready to lay out every detail. Often Grooms come along with their fiances’ and sit there with blank stares.
During the meeting, I make a special effort to listen to Bridegrooms . Given opportunity and prodded a little bit, Grooms usually have some great ideas for their weddings. It may take them more time to express their thoughts, unlike the effervescent brides who enter the room bubbling over with their ideas.
I believe weddings are for both ladies and Grooms . Yes, Bridegrooms must be sensitive and understanding of their ladies ‘ hopes and dreams. Bridegrooms need to listen and genuinely appreciate the feelings of their ladies . On the other hand, it is important for Grooms to be a big part of the wedding planning and the wedding itself. Not only will Grooms feel better about the whole event.
Sensitive expression of their ideas and feelings may challenge Grooms , but it is vital for a meaningful wedding and launching a vibrantly healthy marriage.
The wedding planner or coordinator, the wedding minister, and the ladies can greatly help support the Bridegrooms by early planning, effective listening, and genuine efforts to include the Men in every phase of the process. The better Grooms feel about being part of their own pre-wedding and wedding; the more likely they will enjoy successful marriage.
Little girls begin dreaming of their wedding day soon after they learn to walk and talk. Men , on the other hand, begin thinking of their wedding day when they find their dream girl. It takes a little time for Bridegrooms to catch up, but it is important for marriage to make sure Bridegrooms are included in the process.
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