“Never talk to strangers”. It is a timeless piece of advice that parents have been telling their children for generations. The implied threat is hardly ever explained, but as adults we know sexual crimes top the list. Although the stranger danger adage has been repeated over and over, it is only partially true. It may shock you to find that 8 out of 10 rape victims know their attacker.
Year after year, thousands of young women head off to university and college in all parts of the country. They are often unprepared for the dangers that they may lurk there – and it isn’t strangers. Being raped or assaulted by someone you know presents a whole new set of problems. For some reason, because it’s all happening within a closed group of friends and peers assaulted women are often not taken seriously and even get blamed by their own friends. No one wants to upset the apple cart.
Date and party rape are infrequently reported. Actually, that’s a big understatement- about 90% of the time nothing is said about date rape. It’s just brushed off as drunken antics at a party or a misunderstanding. This situation occurs thousands of times every year, on every campus across the country.
So now that this stage has been set and you’re getting ready to send your child off to school, what are you going to say and how can you lay out the facts in such a way as to not totally ruin the experience of heading off to school? When it comes right down to it…
These are the six things you need to make sure that your kids understand
When alcohol gets involved, situations can easily get out of hand. Much too often, the blame is switched from the attacker to the victim. Even when the rape is reported, this can lead to the offender not getting punished. Your only sure hope for justice is prevention.
While on a date or in a social situation, if a voice in your head says that something is wrong, stop and listen. If someone is making you uncomfortable, tell them to stop immediately. And then you need to go. Your safety is much more important than slight embarrassment or hurting someones feelings.
It is very easy to be charmed by a perfect guy, especially if you haven’t done a lot of dating. But if you start to feel swamped and overwhelmed watch out for the danger signs of a potentially abusive relationship.
It’s bound to happen that you’ll be out with a one of the girls and she’ll have too much to drink. You may not bail out on her when she is vulnerable. Be a true friend. No matter how hard it is for you, leave with her and take her to a safe place.
If you think you might be drinking -don’t go out alone. Go with a friend who won’t ditch you.
There are all kinds of people on college campuses. Although the majority may seem trustworthy, realize that these are not the friends that you grew up with. Your trust is to be earned, not given away lightly. Don’t let yourself be a victim.
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