#5: German Women.
Not only are they already extremely beautiful, but Oktoberfest is a giant excuse for thousands of gorgeous Bavarians to put on outfits that insanely accentuate their ample chests. If you can tear your ogling eyes away for a second, you’ll feel like you’re in some kind of weird period movie, where everyone is wearing a corset, except it’s the present day and you’re all really, really drunk. It’s heaven on earth.
#4: They Never Stop Serving You.
There is no other bar that continues to serve people full 1L steins of beer far after they should have been cut off. Oktoberfest doesn’t discriminate by trying to judge how drunk you are — not only do they not have enough time for it, but getting that ridiculously drunk is actually part of the damn festival itself.
#3: The Music is Amazing/Awful.
While you might not enjoy singing along to ‘I Will Survive’ under normal circumstances, doing so in the context of Oktoberfest often becomes ridiculously fun. Once you’ve got up on a bench, danced with a beautiful Bavarian 20-something, and done the YMCA dance with a liter of beer in your hand, you’ll appreciate why the music is so corny and perfect, all at once.
#2: Security is Like a Perfect Machine.
If you even so much as THINK about shoving someone inside an Oktoberfest tent, you’ll be immediately ejected, from the tent and possibly from the grounds too. Because the festival is specifically devoted to getting insanely drunk off massive quantities of beer, the security is never caught off guard like it might be at a sports even or something. They are fast and ready.
#1: It’s Entirely Devoted to Beer.
There is nowhere else (not even in the other Oktoberfests around the world) where you can find such a wonderful system devoted entirely to delivering the largest quantity of beer possible into your body in a short time, and giving your intoxication unbelievable opportunities for fun and flirtation. Nowhere else in the world.
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