The Law of Attraction. The Secret. The secret behind The Secret. Everywhere we turn someone wants to tell us – or sell us – the way to fame, fortune and happiness. The message is similar, no matter who we listen to. The problem is that what’s behind the message, the deeper meaning of all these “Universal Laws” often gets lost. No matter whose version you believe, or even if you believe, here are a few things to keep in mind.
There is a lot of emphasis on “positive thinking”, which can be easily misunderstood. As human beings, we are unable to think positively all the time and it is unhealthy to deny our “negative” thoughts and feelings. Thinking and hoping that a new job, new husband or wife or shiny new car will magically come into your life won’t work all by itself. The important point here is that most of us have thousands of unconscious and repetitive negative thoughts go through our heads every day. These thoughts can come from anywhere – from being told that we weren’t good enough, wouldn’t ever be successful or simply being doubted by those closest to us. Over the years they become a part of us and without even knowing it, they begin to control who we think we are. We need to become aware of these repetitive thoughts so that we can consciously change them. For some people it is easy to make big changes in these thoughts. For most of us, we need to do it in little steps so that it’s believable. If you catch yourself thinking “I’m too stupid to get hired” but saying something like “I am worthy of my dream job because I am a wonderful, intelligent person” makes you cringe, try something in the middle like “By learning something new every day I am growing my intelligence and becoming a better person”. When that sentence comes easily and believably, find a new even more positive one. There is no point in positive thoughts that you find totally unbelievable so come up with something you can say with confidence.
Another important point to make here is that we don’t want to ignore feelings or thoughts that we feel are “negative”. Ideally we can avoid judging ourselves for having them, look for the lesson (or the “positive”) and then simply release them. It is when we get caught in a thought or feeling, like a hamster in a wheel, that we run into problems. It takes consistent effort and practice to release things that bother us. If you are susceptible to road rage, yelling at drivers any time you’re behind the wheel, take some big, deep breaths and practice forgiving them for being human, then release your anger. Again it’s important to find something that rings true for you and allows you to calm down, then just practice, practice, practice it whenever you find yourself in that situation.
Fear is talked about a lot by Law of Attraction teachers. Unless you are a very enlightened being it is difficult to get rid of fear completely. Fear in some instances is useful and leads to self-preservation. Fear can also be paralyzing. See if you can name your fears and then decide if they are rational or not. If you live in an area where you hear gunshots on a regular basis, being afraid for your safety is a reasonable response. You can then make choices to minimize your fear, while understanding why it is present. If, on the other hand, you feel fear because you watch a lot of news, or violent television, that is something you can change in an instant. Turn the television off. Take a walk. Read a book. Do something that will help you let go of that irrational fear and begin to trust that the world is, in general, a safe place.
Another example of a common fear is that of a parent. It is normal for us to worry about our children but when you find yourself feeling afraid, ask yourself if there is a real reason or if your mind is simply making up scary stories. Is your child safely asleep but you’re obsessing because you just read about an abduction in the news? We let our imaginations run wild too often instead of staying present in the moment, where everything is usually just fine. When we hang on to or deny “negative” thoughts and feelings, that is when we lower our vibration and affect what we call into our lives.
Work to turn habitual negative thoughts into positive – or perhaps a better way to say it is loving – thoughts. When you feel something “negative” accept it for what it is, look for the lesson in it and then let it go. All of this takes consistent effort. Stay present in the moment and whatever you do, don’t beat yourself up for being human. Perfection is unattainable but a deep joy is within your grasp. Make a promise to yourself that you will continue to change and grow. Remember there is no destination, there is only the journey. Find a way to enjoy it.
Alana Sheeren is a mother, author and entrepreneur with a MA in Clinical Psychology and a passion for personal development and conscious living. You can learn more about her here. She and her husband apply the Law of Attraction and help others do the same at real authentic success.
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