I’m sure you’ve heard that you should avoid “ordinary boring conversational topics” when flirting. Experts will tell you that it’s a sure way to make the girl yawn. And that’s no way to get her to remember you after you leave.
I disagree. I think it’s weird if you don’t mix some “ordinary” questions in when you’re getting to know a girl. Sure, you need to have high energy, and hit some emotional high points. But you also need some ordinary “getting to know you” talk.
What are the “ordinary” questions we’re talking about?
What do you do?
Are you in school?
Have any children?
Do you live around here?
Can those questions lead to a dead conversation? Yes. Do they have to? No.
The key is this:
TYPICAL QUESTION FLIRTING FORMULA: after she responds to your “typical question”, be ready to be PLAYFUL with her answer.
I will often, very early in the conversation, ask a woman what she does for a living, or, ifshe’s in school, I’ll ask her what she’s studying.
But after I get a response from her, I get playful with her response.
It goes something like this:
If she says she’s a massage therapist, I say, “Oh good, so if I suddenly get the worst cramp ever in my hand, you’d totally be able to heal me, right?”
She laughs. She feels like you value her for something other than her looks. And you frame the interaction as one of her being ready to SERVE you in some way.
This approach will work almost every time. And it’s fun.
Try it. The next time you’re talking with an attractive woman you’ve just met, give it a shot. And don’t restrict yourself just to women you’re attracted to.
I even use it with little old ladies. “My goodness, I can tell, if you were my Grandma, you would totally bake me cookies every day, even though my mommy told you not to.” They all love it!
Tyler Paxon Ph.D. is the founder of the How To Flirt website. Take his free quiz at http://how2flirt.com
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